I was sitting watching a program last night about a tattoo parlour. It was a random choice as Christmas television is awful at this time. So after channel hoping I found this rather cool programme.
As I watched it I was struck by the way the people on it knew who they were. What style they wanted. They were literally comfortable in their own skin.
I turned to my husband and explained this to him and he surprised me with the comments “you have lost that haven’t you’.
“You’ve been dressing old”
Wow straight to the point, straight to my heart.
His comment is so true!
I know that finding my faith left me with the need to make changes in my life but I think I’ve lost direction at some point.
While I am a great believer in modesty I need to remind myself that I can dress modest without dressing old.
I’m only 34, yes I love black, and purples and tattoos but none of this stops me from loving Jesus.
Jesus looks at my heart not my body.
Obviously there has to be respect, tattoos that insult my God, my faith is something I would never have but the reality is that there is beautiful artwork out there that is liberating, celebrating, worshipping.
The realisation wasn’t just about tattoos. It was so much more. It was about me trying to fit myself in a box. To be someone I’m not!
In doing this I have found myself slowly slipping away. Looking into the mirror and not recognising the person looking back.
So many times people tell us it’s not the clothes you wear and yes I agree that is true. But sometimes the right outfit fills you with confidence to face the day.
I miss me. I’m not sure to be honest who I am at this time in my life but I’m going to have some fun finding out.
I allowed myself to get restricted by preconceived notions. Rockers are all mean, Goths all worship Satan, and Christians are all boring and style less. (Yes I can hear your screams already).
I apologise for this, I am a great believer in individuality. I teach my girls this all the time. Yet I know I’ve been a complete hypocrite.
I could say I did it for the love of God but this isn’t the truth. I know my God loves me for who I am and who I wish to be.
My Lord checks my heart not my wardrobe.
A journey to find myself starts right here, today!
Watch this space.