This Time I’m Asking For Me!

One thing I realise about myself is that I can easily ask you all for support for others but I’m terrible at asking for myself.


This time of year is known as the awards time in the blogging world. With nominations being requested for the Mad awards and the Brit mums.


Normally I don’t like entering the arena, fear of failing is the motivator behind the decision. But this year I decided why not!


As you know my writing is personal what you read here is the rambling of my mind, and because of this I do often wonder where I fit within the blogging world.


“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde


So this year I’ve decided not to stress about where I fit but to embrace the extraordinary instead of the ordinary.


So here is where my cry for help comes in.


I have two requests, Brit mums are asking for nominations for the keynote speakers at Brit mums live. I would love to be able to stand up and read my post, My letter to Livvy. To share with all my brave incredible daughter, to raise awareness of Rett Syndrome and to remind all of the gift of each and every day.


Please help me on this quest and nominate this post for the keynote speech here…


My second request is also to do with Brit mums. I am honoured to be short listed for a Brilliance in Blogging award in the Inspire category. It has been amazing to be nominated but it would be incredible to win. If you enjoy, admire my writing please consider voting for me here.


So there you go, I’m stepping out of comfort zone and asking for support. 


Thank you for reading and feel free to share this post with others. 


Last night I was blessed enough to be part of the Compassion UK team at one of the stops on the Philippa Hanna coffee shop tour.


I have to tell you it was awesome. The evening was started by a local lad with incredible talent Jacob Lloyd. Such a fun cheeky lad with a great voice.


I then got my first experience of the artist called Roo Walker, never had I witnessed such guitar playing.  Also the insane way he used a loop with amazing results left me laughing out loud. Roo is a seriously funny, insane (yes i said it twice) guy who I adored.


Then of course was Philippa Hanna, I am new to Philippa’s music. I was swept away about two months ago by her song I am amazing. Its a song that just reminds us how perfect we are because we are Gods creation and that  God doesn’t make mistakes.


I was so excited to hear more from Philippa and I wasn’t disappointed. Her songs are written from her heart, they are her journey. So many of her lyrics spoke to my heart. I’ve been there judging myself, feeling lost inside myself. Philippa’s songs reminds us  that we are never alone, God is with us always.


One amazing voice, one beautiful lady.


Of course the best bit of the evening was working on behalf of Compassion UK and being part of the journey into child sponsorship for people. Introducing them to the child they have chosen getting to tell them that because of their sponsorship they had just changed a child’s life. Through their sponsorship their chosen child will receive, food, clean water, medical care, inoculations and the opportunity to be part of their local church and learn of Jesus’ love for all.


How exciting.


I had an phenomenal evening and would suggest to anyone if Philippa and Roo are playing at a coffee shop near you, to go along you wont be disappointed. I took along my two teens and their friends and they had an incredible evening.You wont be disappointed.


Eden, Philippa Hanna , Marianne


Eliott, Roo Walker , Kennedy


And of course if you would are considering sponsoring a child pop over to Compassion UK.

A Mother’s Day Gift That Could Change A Life

As we all celebrate Mother’s Day here in the UK. Enjoying our flowers and homemade cards.


I would like you to think of mothers around the world who aren’t so lucky.  They fight daily struggles against starvation, disease and so much more.


Their dearest wish is for their children to escape the 

extreme poverty that they call life.


Think about the children who have lost their mothers too early to disease’s that could have been prevented by basic medicines and measures.


Children like Elisabeth in the below film who now has to be mother to her siblings at the tender age of 8. 


Please watch the film above and consider sponsoring a child like Elisabeth  with Compassion UK and help them escape poverty. Your sponsorship could return a child to their childhood.




Mother’s Day

It’s Mothers day another of those days that come along and hits you with a brick called grief.

Mother’s day it’s one of those days where the struggle to smile and pretend all is OK is so much harder.

You search to find your joy, feeling guilty thinking of the one you have lost rather the three you have left to cherish.
I’m struggling biting my tongue so hard it bleeds to stop the tears from falling.

Anger, denial, fear and guilt all are outstanding in their pursuit of my heart.

I know Its wrong of me, I should be focusing on the gifts I have in my life, the three beautiful girls I still get to hold, yet my mind is slipping back to the one that is missing.

I am so blessed I do realise this, I look at my daughters and I know I am truly lucky, but the missing piece of my quartet is on my mind.

I’m sure she is sending kisses from heaven and I know that one day I will hold her again for eternity and the hugs will be a plenty.


Today I am grateful

Today I know I am blessed


Today I’m missing

Today it hurts.



Should We Know More?

In my family the is the unspoken rule that we don’t discuss religion and politics as we know we could never agree on any of them. 

 Yet the other night my sister was staying over and we were generally chatting and she said out of the blue” you know what bugs me about politics”? To be honest I was scared to ask (unwritten rule and all that).”it’s that the reality is many of us don’t understand it, how it all works”

This really struck me, as although I have tried to educate myself a little I’m a complete novice and have only basic understanding.

Do you remember when you were eighteen and you were so excited about being able to vote how much did you really know about the who and why of the political parties involved?


Considering our country is a democracy and our votes make a difference. I do wonder if we should be educated a little more as children. Preparing us for the gift of voting.


It is so much more that just marking a  X in a box.


What do you all think? Should our children be taught more about the government and the political parties?

Please Don’t Forget Her.

How do you hold on ?

 Keep the memories fresh

 I’m scared of forgetting, of others forgetting.

 Losing a child is a pain I can not describe. The whole world carries on when it shouldn’t. It should just grind to a halt right there and then.

 Your heart is broken and cannot be fixed.

 Your soul is torn with ragged edges. 

 It’s darkness and you can’t see the light.


 Three years on and my heart is still forever broken. My soul in tatters but I can see the light. The promise of eternity.

 Yet I still struggle. 

 It seems so strange to not hear her name. 

 To not make plans which include her.

 I get scared at times that the world is forgetting her. That family are losing the image of that cheeky grin from their minds.

 I cannot cope with this, I was told that no one leaves you if you hold memories in your heart. But what if your memories are fading?

 Brodie said the other day, “sometimes mom I can’t remember Livvy’s face. I have to go look at a photo”.

 I don’t want my child to be forgotten , to just be a distant memory brought only to the front of our minds for special days or anniversaries.

 I want to sew her laughter into the tapestry of life. Her giggle to be in the here and now.

 I want to chat about her courage, her love of life. Her way of making the day seem brighter with her mischievous nature.

 I want her with us on days out, see her playing with her sisters.

Creating new memories for us all to share.

 I don’t want her to be the past.

 I want her here in the present.

 I can’t face her being forgotten.

 Please don’t forget her.

Three Precious Word’s.

Growing up in my family we didn’t talk emotions. Nobody needed that touchy feely stuff. It was a case of you know I love you,I don’t need to say it.


But you know what I did need to hear those words. At times I was struggling and felt alone.


So with my children I decided to break the chain. I was going to embrace the world of the touchy feeling and cover them in words of love and affection.


Never was I so glad of this decision than on that fateful night three years ago when the last words spoken to my daughter as I lay her to sleep were “I love you to the moon and stars.”

Never would I have imagined the importance of those words. The last words I was to speak to her this side of eternity.


As I listen to my children tell each other of their love. Shout I love you to their dad as he drops them off in front of their friends. I’m so glad I broke the chain.


Never think people know of your love, make sure of it. Say the words we all love to hear. 


Three simple words which are priceless, I LOVE YOU.