New Year sadness

2013 is nearly over and no matter how hard I try to stay strong and hide behind a smile my heart is still aching.

I’m not good with the celebration of new year simply because I don’t feel like celebrating.

It’s the end of another year without Livvy.

It’s hard because all though I am excited for the future my heart still aches to be back in the time before that unforgettable day in November 2008.

New year is hard for someone who is grieving because there is a realisation that this is a whole year your loved one will not be part off.

And that blooming hurts.

So as I say goodbye to 2013 I am grateful for all the experiences and opportunities it has brought me.

I am blessed by those who have walked beside me. New friends and old.

I am excited for 2014 and all the adventures it will bring.

But I am sad and I think I will always be a little sad until my heart is whole again.

So Happy New Year to all my readers. Thank you for being part of my journey and thank you for allowing me to open my heart here on these pages.

And to all my friends who are grieving I walk beside you.

I also hold on to these words.

20131231-041035.jpgLivvy you will always live on in my heart.


As we prepare for the coming of Christmas I am sure all over the country every person is feeling a little different inside.

Some of us are focusing on the birth of Jesus Christ.

Others are looking forward to family time.

Some are preparing for another day at work and for others its just another day in the year.

Whatever tomorrow means to you I just pray its a day full of joy and laughter.

This last year has certainly been a mixed one for me. I have experienced so many highs and a number of lows.

I have laughed, I have cried.

I have rejoiced and I have grieved.

Life is about making memories and sometimes those memories may not be ones of joy but maybe they were lessons that in some way I needed to learn.

Who knows

What I do know is this, over the last year I have been blessed by this blog and all it has brought into my life.

I have had experiences that have changed me.

Opportunities that have benefitted me.

But most of all its been about the people that I have met that have blessed me.

So to all those people old and new that I have met this year I wish you the very best Christmas ever.

Also to all my loyal readers I thank you for your support and your comments.You honestly don’t realise the impact you have had on me.

Your encouragement, your support but most of all your understanding is the reason I continue to write and share my heart on these pages.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and may your holiday be filled with love and laughter.


Dear Santa – I’ve been a good girl

The last few months I have been working  my way through my children’s christmas lists hoping I get everything they want. It’s one of the best things about this celebration watching the joy on my children’s faces as they rip away the wrapping paper and find the surprise inside.

Yet the other day my husband asked me if I had written my list for Santa. I hadn’t I focus so much on getting gifts for others because thats what I love to do I hadn’t sat down and thought about what I would like.

So I decided today I would write my list and share it with you all.

So here goes and in no particular order.

First up is something that is always on the top of any wish list that I write books. My passion for books started when I was a young girl and is still as strong today. Nothing beats the adventures you can find between the pages of a good book.

My first choice is a set of books which I have read many times but thanks to borrowing them to my children I am in need of a new set.

The wonderful books by J.R.R Tolkien. The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings. I love this set so much. Tolkien was a writer that took many on this wonderful magical adventure. We learn of strength, courage and honour but the biggest lesson for me was always compassion.


My second choice again is a book. I came across the programme Duck Dynasty by chance a few months ago and I have fallen completely in love with the family. I am now just reading one of the books written by family members Wille and Korie Robertson and it is a truly lovely book so my second choice is the book written by the patriarch of the family Phil Robertson, Happy Happy, Happy.


My third choice is a bag, now its not a well known fact but I do have a bit of an obsession with handbags but lets be honest after seeing the Cath Kidston Pembridge Rose Everyday bag who wouldn’t? I have wanted a Cath Kidston bag for a long time and this material is beautiful.


My fourth choice is simply stunning. A beautiful dress made by the talented designers Scarlett & Jo. I saw this dress back in September at the Plus North event and fell in love then with it. I just think its beautiful, don’t you?


My fifth choice on my list is a Hydrocotton Robe from The White Company. A friend of mine brought me one of these robes about 6 years ago and now it is looking a little untidy and worn. I would love to replace it with this elegant robe.



So there is it my Christmas list for Santa and I promise I have been a good girl. xxxxxx