Life is a unique journey.

One incredible thing about life is that no two humans will experience the same one. Those with shared experiences will have these but their emotions and how the moments made them feel will be unique only to them.

Grief especially is like this, two people can walk a similar pathway but their emotional journey is their own.

Take my husband and I for example, we both lost Olivia but the way we have coped with it is very different. I am completely open with my pain where Alan tends to internalise it. We are both grieving but just differently and that’s ok. It’s our individuality that defines us. Our life experiences have created our own unique way of moving through life, our own way of coping, our own ability to survive.

I actually find this whole thing so interesting, some say that even in the womb we are being defined by life experiences, by the sounds we hear, by the feelings we feel, the stress chemicals we receive. John Bowlby would tell us that it’s the interactions we have with others that builds our inner working model, our individual way of viewing the world.

So it isn’t surprising that the way we experience life is different.

Just look at humour for an example how many times have you found yourself laughing out loud over a joke only to find others looking at you strangely as if to say, “that’s so not funny”. Or you have cried at a film only to find others unmoved.

We are all different, unique, emotional creatures.

So whilst this uniqueness is something to be embraced it is also something to remember when dealing with others, especially where grief is concerned.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. 

You simply have to do what you need to do to survive.

I’m actually writing this for myself right now.

Giving myself the reminder that I cannot expect others to understand my journey. My pathway is my own and only I can walk it.

Right now this post is my mirror on the wall and I’m telling myself to calm down and breathe.

People mean well and some just don’t get it and that’s ok and that is what makes them unique.

The way I feel right now, the things I feel that’s my emotional road to travel and that’s perfectly OK.

 

Life is unique

 

Christmas style for the family.

Like most people, I find that around this time of year I really have to watch my budget.

My bank account looks a little empty after purchasing our Christmas gifts and food. Yet this doesn’t stop me from wanting to wear something new and special for the season.

This is why I love the George range at Asda, they offer stylish outfits for a reasonable price, they also cater for all the family. One stop shopping my idea of heaven.

Here are some of my favourites…..

 

I love this Embellished Jumpsuit and at only £20 its simply wow, perfect for nights out, Christmas lunch and so much more.

Asda

 

My second choice is  this Embellished beaded dress it’s just stunning at £40 this is the most expensive of my choices but I could see me wearing this many times and certainly getting my money’s worth.

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My third choice is for my daughter, I’m sure she would love this Stolen Heart Floral Lace Skater dress, I could just see her wearing this with her converse.

Asda-2

 

George Asda also do an fantastic range for men and if I was dressing my hubby this Christmas it would be in this Tailor & Cutter Shirt and Tie set. I just adore the colour of this set, perfect for Christmas and any special occasion after. It would also be a great gift for the business man in your life.

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I would team this shirt with some Straight Leg Chinos

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This outfit would be the perfect mix between smart and casual which my husband would love.

 

Last but not least I would dress my foster son in this shirt and tie set paired with some tapered jeans.

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Asda-5

 

This outfit is just perfect for him as young man who is finding his own individual style.

 

I am seriously impressed with the ranges George at ASDA offers it has something for everyone, all shapes and sizes, go check them out especially their gorgeous dresses. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• This post is sponsored but all opinions are my own and I do truly recommend the range.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The road I really wish I could take

So as we head towards Christmas I am finding myself at a familiar crossroads.

Which way do I turn, which road do I take?

You see since the death of my daughter in November 2008 Christmas has just never been the same. The traditions we had started to help her cope with the busyness of the season seem redundant without her.

The laughter that followed from her joy of the annoying singing Santa is lost. The Santa just sings and yes he is still as annoying but it’s so not funny anymore.

How I miss the joy she breathed into the season.

How the commercialism of Christmas never touched her, just pure love and laughter.

Oh how I miss her.

road that leads me

So back to the crossroads, back to choosing the way to turn.

I’m struggling to be as I know she would want to me to be. Full of the love and laughter Livvy would cherish.

Taking the road full of Christmas cheer.

Yet to be truthful the road of sadness is calling to me loudly.

The turning of missing is the path my internal SatNav wants to travel.

Wishing for the Christmas’s past when my heart was whole. When my girls numbered four and when life made sense.

It’s so hard,

Sometimes I just want to allow myself to stay in my grief to follow the endless miles of hopelessness.

Yet I know I cannot.

How could I honour the one who brought me joy by only sharing sadness.

I will smile, I will laugh, I will make new traditions. I will celebrate the season as it should be,

but between you and I it’s not the same and it never will be.

The season is like my heart, missing  a very special piece.

My missing piece