Being Vulnerable

There is a lot going on in my life right now.

I’m stepping out into a place that leaves me exposed and vulnerable, both two feelings I don’t enjoy.

I cannot control the situation and this is driving me into a world of fear, of anxiety.

Yet even in the depths of fear I feel the peace of faith. It’s a feeling of knowing whatever I’m stepping towards all will be ok.

It’s easy to hold back, to not risk your heart. I know that so many times I have missed moments because of fear.

No more.

No more hiding in the shadows telling myself that I’m not good enough or that other people will be better.

No more, not believing that life is beautiful and throughout all seasons there is joy to be found.

I’m may be walking forward on shaky trembling legs but I’m moving onwards.

I’m stepping out not knowing what the future holds but trusting that it’s going to be a vibrant place full of love and laughter.

“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. The new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable, i.e. open.” ~ Stephen Russell”

Being vulnerable is raw, emotional and damn right scary but is also completely amazing .

stepping forward

Writing my own story 

When I was young I loved to write. Each week my grandad would buy me an exercise book with his pension and I would fill the pages with stories, poems and song lyrics. I felt such freedom in my words. 

Then my school class was asked by our teacher , what did we want to be when we were older? The answers ranged from builder to spaceman but i so wanted to be a writer. I wanted to be able to share my words with the world. I remember the teachers smile when I answered, how it never really reached his eyes and his comment about “not with your spelling”. The pain I felt at this response was physical like someone had actually kicked me in the stomach. I think I may have laughed it off replying “well after a dancer of course”. To which he seemed to accept. 

I know I went home that night ready to rip to pieces the pages of my exercise books, the freedom of my words disappearing with each step. As usual my grandfather noticed my mood straight away and asked what was wrong. “My teacher doesn’t believe I can be a writer” i answered. 

My grandad didn’t say anything for a while a custom of his, holding his tongue until he found the right words. Not something I have inherited that’s for sure. He then turned and looked at me and told me “You will write your own story”. 

Of course I then waffled on about my stories would never be good enough and that my teacher stinks ( hey I was 11) but grandad just smiled and repeated “you will write your own story”.

If only I had known then how true his words would be. 

I may not have become the greatest of writers or have a library filled with my works but I am writing my own story. 

I’m allowing my words to fly free.

Because I write I can now revisit days full of memories with Livvy. 

By forming written arguments I can passionately fight for those who are vulnerable and in need. 

By baring my heart here on this blog I have had the privilege of supporting others who also have broken hearts, allowing them the freedom to grieve and to break. 

I am writing my own story

It’s one full of joy and happiness but also one full of pain and sorrow. But my words are my heart and they are steps on my journey of life.

Grandad I hope you are reading my words in heaven. I hope you can see that I’m working hard on making my own story. I’m trying to fill my pages full of love and laughter. 

My name may not be on any bookcover but I hope it’s on the hearts of my children and those of my family and my friends.

I know now what you meant about writing my own story and I promise you I’m not done yet.

 I want to write many more chapters filled with memories and laughter. I want to create sentences full of hope and faith. 

Words simply written in love.

I am writing my own story Grandad and I pray it’s one you are proud to read.

The personal touch

When it comes to buying gifts for those I love I really like them to be special.

I want to show them that I have taken the time to think about what they like and who they are.

This is why I love personalised gifts, something thats shows that the extra care and attention has been taken.

This Valentine’s day I wanted to buy my husband something that he loved but also something that I knew would bless his heart.

This is why I choose this Engraved Leather Knot Bracelet its simple personalisation made it super special when I had Livvy’s name engraved on in. Having Livvy close to him really blessed my husband and he got rather emotional when he received it.

Alan's bracelet

In fact I loved Alan’s so much that I also ordered myself an Engraved Leather Knot Bracelet. I also now get to have Livvy with me all the time.

How special are they!

I am in love with the “ I just love it” site (no pun intended).

They have an amazing range of gifts that can be personalised for those you love. I have my eye on this gorgeous engraved heart handle chopping board.

engraved-heart-handle-chopping-board-1

Lets be honest I am in love with quite a lot of the gifts on the site, the stationary, the photo frames and some of the nursery gifts are just wow.

 

Honestly don’t take my word for it go take a look for yourself.

ijustloveitlogo-1

 

They have some fantastic ideas for Easter gifts, special birthdays and so much more.

 

 

 

  • I was gifted the bracelets for the purpose of the review but all opinions are my own and are true.