Allowing them to grow.

I have to confess, I’m struggling at times with my teenagers and Saturday it all came to a head. Something was said that made me realise changes needed to be made.

Don’t get me wrong, I am blessed with my girls they could be far worse, yet the truth is at times like all people they can be selfish and cruel.

I realised though that I am not helping the situation, the truth is I’m not allowing them to grow and learn.

In three years time my eldest will be an adult but I am not embracing her journey towards adulthood, I’m actually holding on with both hands to her childhood.

I guess there comes a time in a parent’s life where we have to accept our children are growing up and yes we still need to support and protect them but we also need to trust and allow them freedom to make mistakes. Giving them opportunities to be responsible and make their own decisions.

It’s not easy, just the thought of allowing them to learn consequences scares me. Their life decisions cannot be fixed with a plaster or magic cream.

However I have to trust in the way I have raised my girls, that even at times when they seriously test me, I know in their hearts and their heads they know right from wrong.

They realise that the dreams they have require work, effort, time and patience.

By giving them freedom they will begin to achieve things for themselves and then feel the pride that will follow along with that achievement.

If I continue to do everything for them, I’m not equipping them for the real world. Their future employers won’t allow them to leave a job half done to go shopping with friends. Run their laptops to them when they have left them behind. Or advance them their wages because they just couldn’t live without that top.

Being a teenager isn’t easy but let’s be honest adulthood isn’t all we believed it would be. Who in their right minds enjoys bills, responsibilities?

So young ladies of mine, you have choices to make, you continue to abuse your mobile phone you will be making the choice to pay the bill yourself.

You continue to leave your washing on your bedroom floor, well then you are choosing to wash your own clothes.

Life is about making the decisions, I’m hoping and praying you will make the right ones.

You may not like me all the time, but one day you will understand how much I love you. You girls are my world, nothing will ever change that.

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5 thoughts on “Allowing them to grow.

  1. Well done Sara, my son soon found out how easy it is to operate a washing machine, it was his use of the tumble dryer which turned out expensive! However I bit my tongue. He soon learnt to cook his own tea if he didn’t fancy what was on offer, now he shares the cooking with his wife. It’s not easy to stand back and let them get on with it, but it pays in the end.

  2. Your girls are incredibly beautiful. It is hard trying to let go but if we do it right, our children will understand that once they have flown the nest and become independent, we will always be here for them when need us.

    CJ xx

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