Why do we use the term laid to rest. When I think of my children who have gone before me, resting is the last thing I will be expecting them to be doing.
I imagine Livvy free from the physical burdens of Rett syndrome. Running, dancing living life to the full. I really can’t grasp the concept of laying to rest.
Yesterday I had the honour of attending Ryan’s funeral. Any event like this is hard, but no mother should have to bury her child. Ryan’s family did him proud. I was choked when the car pulled up to see a Dr Who coffin. How crazy, how Ryan.
The chapel was filled to the rafters, standing room only. People from many walks of life, family, friends, and professionals, anyone who came into contact with Ryan were touched by his beautiful spirit. Yesterday’s attendance proved that. He was, no he is much-loved.
I have to confess it was a hard for me. The last time I had attended the chapel was for Livvy’s funeral. So you can imagine the turmoil in my mind and heart.
The tears they fell. Yet I was filled with a mixture of emotions, grief of course was paramount but this is going to sound awful I was envious in a way.
Envious you ask? I know it is wrong but I was of Ryan. As I watched his committal I was struck that with the freedom of the body Ryan was with his eternal father in heaven but most of all Ryan was with Livvy. How terrible am I to feel this way. But as we joked about the kids being reunited all I could think at the time was Ryan you lucky monkey you get to kiss her, to hold her. Two things I know he will be doing.
I’ve never been frightened of death, if I’m truthful I find life a lot harder to handle. Since finding my faith death is something I kind of look forward to, not in a morbid way. When my time comes, I will be free from this earthly body; I get to be with Jesus, in heaven where perfection is the normal. No more hunger, no poverty just pure love. Jesus promised that we will all be reunited with our loved ones. So I know that I will hold my daughter again
Luke 23; 43 “Jesus answered him. “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise”
Yet in all this I know I still have a life to live here first. So yes I was slightly envious yesterday. We still have work to do here before we reach eternity.
As I sat there yesterday listening to the memories of Ryan, I watched the pain on his mothers face. My dear friend how I love and admire her so much. How I know that pain! How I wished I could take it away, but like myself I know if she was asked if she would live it all over again I know she would.
Ryan was blessed with an amazing mom and dad and brother and sister to. I only hope and pray that in the coming times they will find comfort in their memories or like me in the knowledge that two best friends are reunited.
Watch out heaven Double Trouble are together again.