Tag Archives: Anxiety

Tomorrow

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Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. NIV Matthew 6.34

I think this should become my new mantra.

A statement that I repeat to myself over and over until my heart and head finally learn to understand and accept it.

Why do I allow myself to worry so much?

To worry about everything and for everyone.

I need to concentrate on the now.

This moment

Right now

The present

My mind is always worrying days, weeks in advance.

Tripping over negative thoughts.

Falling over my anxiety

I’m forgetting about this moment, about living this time.

Living for the moment, have I ever allowed myself the gift of this.

Have I ever been allowed this?

Always the organiser, always the planner.

Always the grown up, always the responsible one.

I want to view the world with a child like innocence.

To go with the flow

To leave tomorrow to itself

To leave next week, next month to its own devices.

To trust

To stand in faith.

Unrepairable

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Losing a child breaks you in a way that can never be repaired.

You hold yourself together by pieces and patches.

Stress and fear becomes your companion. Imagine if your worse fear can come true everything else is a possibility.

People tell me to not to stress to trust but I did once before and I lost my daughter.

It’s so hard to just believe. To allow myself to let go of fear.

I try, I promise I try but sometimes grief is the only emotion I can fight so anxiety, fear and panic slip in under the radar.

I make myself promise
I’m not going to care as much
I’m going to switch off more
Take a step back from situations that really don’t effect me.

But I don’t, my heart engages before my head.

Life is complicated full of ups and downs and some how I need to learn how to go with the flow.

Any ideas, any suggestions all are welcome, I need 2013 to be the year I take control of my heart.

Living in the moment

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It’s been a strange few days. I have found myself getting lost in my memories. Precious moments when the pain of my loss was forgotten.

God granted us an amazing gift when he gave us memories.

I know there are times where I wish I could forget. Painful, traumatic times but I wouldn’t trade my memory in for anything.

Just to hear Livvy’s giggle in my mind. To remember her mischievousness, her sheer cheekiness.

It’s these memories and many others that keep me going, keep me sane.

I often wonder If we were to realise the importance of the moment would we live it different.

If we realised that maybe one day we will look back and hold on tightly to this time, this moment.

I wonder if I would let go of the worries that tie on to my heart. The stresses that effect my mood and the length of my smile.

Could or would I allow myself to live in the magic of the moment, to live and breathe the here and now without thought of tomorrow or the following days.

Who knows what tomorrow brings at times today is enough of a challenge.

As Jesus once said

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:34 ESV)

So I’m refusing to be anxious anymore, embracing the moments, celebrating the memories and just be thankful.

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No thinking

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Bubble shooter has at times saved my sanity.

Let me explain at times my mind becomes so overwhelmed with thoughts, plans and ideas that I feel it’s actually going to explode.

Music can sometimes help, reading too but there are moments when even these saviours cannot block out the chaos. How many times have you lost your place in a song, found yourself re reading the same line in a book.

Bubble shooter for me is a no brainer. I line up three balls and pow they disappear. It doesn’t require me to think but it does require me to concentrate otherwise of course I will end up having two many balls for the game to go on.

This simple but addictive game is very much a gift to me. It gives me time out of my mind. It gives me time for the anxiety to fade away. No it doesn’t take away or change the issues I face but it does give me a change to breathe.

So what’s the bubble shooter in your life?