I may not be strong but I have strength.

Posted on April 23, 2013 by admin

On Saturday I attended a woman’s conference working as an advocate for Compassion UK. It was a great day and before I left 6 children had been lifted out of poverty in Jesus name. 6 with new sponsors and at the beginning of a new life.

The guest speaker for the conference was Jeff Lucas. I had read a few of Jeff’s books but have never heard him speak before.

To be honest he was pretty amazing. He challenges you in a way that leaves you wanting, no needing to do more.

To challenge yourself to live the best life you can.

One statement he left us with was

” There are no strong people just people with strengths.”

This really hit home as I find myself at this time not feeling strong at all.

Yet some how I move forward.

Somehow I find the strength to face what’s coming.

I have strengths

I have weaknesses.

They are mine and mine to own.

They are what makes me unique.

The building blocks in the tower of my life.

I may not be strong but I have strengths.

The strength from the love of my children.

The strength from the love of my husband.

The strength from my friends.

The strength from my faith.

Faith
Children
Marriage
Friendship

I am not always strong but I have strength.

I’m not staying quiet

Posted on April 22, 2013 by admin

Are you a parent?

Do you think about your child everyday?

Do you rejoice in their achievements?

Share their antics with friends?

I will go out on a limb here and hazard a guess that the answer to the above questions is a YES.

I’m a parent, I have four beautiful girls. I dote on them all, they each have a unique personally that I simply adore.

Each have their own goals and have their own achievements.

I cherish every moment of them and yes at times I have wanted to literally strangle them.

Hey I’m human

Hey I’m a parent.

Yet for me there is one difference one of my children is in heaven. For the last four years death has separated me from my baby.

Yet she still is my daughter.

She is still her sisters sister.

Granddaughter, niece, cousin, friend.

Her death doesn’t just remove her from our life.

So I struggle to understand why people expect me to stay quiet.

To not mention my beautiful girl.

To not comment about her.

To not state how much my heart aches without her.

It’s as if people expect me to forget.

I love life, I cherish every moment of it. I love watching my girls grow, change and experience things.

I am moving forward but moving on doesn’t mean I have to forget.

I can remember her cheeky smile, her soft hands and her strong left hook.

I can remember her infectious giggle that would send us all into laughter.

I can remember, I can share.

She is still my daughter.

I’m not being held back, I’m moving forward with Livvy in my heart in my memory.

Of course at times the missing overwhelms, yet even in the pain I embrace life.

Life is a gift each day is a new present waiting to be unwrapped.

Yet just like every parent will tell you the moment you have your child. That child holds a piece of your heart wherever they are. Heaven or earth my girls are my heart and they always will be.

So don’t ask to me to stay quiet about Livvy. She is part of my life and always will be.

International Women’s Day

Posted on March 8, 2013 by admin

So as today is International Woman’s day I’ve been thinking about women who have inspired me.

Now I apologise to mom’s’ Nans and aunts out there but I’m talking this time about women who we don’t know, who we aren’t related too.

Women we dream of meeting.

These are my top three inspirational women who have in someway may a difference to my life.

Maya Angelou
Mother Teresa
Mary The mother of Jesus

Now why Maya Angelou? I could just simply write its just the beauty and raw honestly of her writing that inspires me. I first read her first book “I know why the cage bird sings ” when I was a teenager it changed me then as it does every time I read it.

Yet it’s her audaciousness to change pre-conceptions and her dedication to civi-rights violations that brings my admiration to such great levels.

This is one inspirational lady.

Then we have Mother Teresa, do I really have to explain why I find this lady inspirational. This quiet unassuming nun has been the salvation of so many. In the slums of India she has nursed, cared, fed the poor and worked so tirelessly for the improvement of their lives.

If this wasn’t enough this wonderful lady has written the most beautiful heartfelt words that I have ever read. Her devotion to God is something I inspire to and all this is without mentioning her nobel prize.

My last choice today (all though these woman are in no particular order. ) Is Mary the mother of Jesus.

Now I have written about Mary before, my reverence for the mother of Jesus is something I openly discuss.

For me it’s wasn’t that God chose her to be Jesus mothers though that is certainly an honour. No for me it was her courage to say yes.

Mary knew that her family would shun her, the whole town would judge her. Even her husband to be, yet still she said yes.

She also knew that the son she brought into this world was never going to be leading a normal life, she feared for him but still stood by his side.

Her strength of faith is something I admire so much.

Though beyond remembering women who have inspired us, International Women’s Day is so much more.

It’s a day of remembering the inspirational women we wish to be.

Inspiring us to be the best moms we can be, the best wives, girlfriends etc.

The best friends, colleagues, neighbours etc etc.

Inspiring us to take steps to change the world, stand together to fight poverty, famine and human rights violations.

Times are changing and as women of today we have a voice.

Let it be heard

So happy International Women’s day to every woman in the world you are all inspirational.

Changing my story

Posted on March 5, 2013 by admin

Sometimes I get tired of the fighting.

Fighting to just be.

Dealing with the pain that breeds inside of me.

The false smile has to slip sometimes.

You are so brave is easily switched to you are falling.

I didn’t ask for this life and at times Im just so angry that I cannot breathe.

Then I feel regret for the anger.

I know I am blessed but sometimes its easier to lament that to give glory.

To give praise when the pain is deep.

To trust when the nightmare lives on.

To seek when all you want to do is hide.

To look to the heavens when the ground is closer.

The story still gets written and jumping a few pages ahead will not change the plot line.

Forwarding the film does not change the ending.

Regardless of the journey the end will be the same.

I crave for a first class trip with a champagne breakfast

A five star room with chocolates on the sheets.

I want to leave behind the crowded waiting rooms and late arrivals.

I want my journey to be as I planned.

As I dreamed as a young girl.

The life I had promised myself.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

I walk in faith.

I’m changing my story.

With love xxx

Posted on February 14, 2013 by admin

Today is the day when the world gets filled with love. We bring gifts to the one we love, we remind them how much we love and cherish them.

My heart is with my husband today and everyday.

Love isn’t just for valentines day it’s for eternity.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

<< 1 Corinthians 13 >>
English Standard Version

Bare

Posted on February 8, 2013 by admin

Sometimes I wonder if anyone sees the real me

Sometimes I wonder if I actually know the real me under the fronts I use for protection

The mom

The wife

The daughter

The friend

I wonder if anyone can see me stripped down and bare.

Would anyone like what they see?

I start the day with a smile that hides so many things, worries, fears.

Exhaustion, exhilaration

But am I really bare without the roles I play.

Or are my roles pieces of the jigsaw that is in truth who I am.

Joining in again with Lisa-Jo’s Five minute Friday

Tomorrow

Posted on January 30, 2013 by admin

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. NIV Matthew 6.34

I think this should become my new mantra.

A statement that I repeat to myself over and over until my heart and head finally learn to understand and accept it.

Why do I allow myself to worry so much?

To worry about everything and for everyone.

I need to concentrate on the now.

This moment

Right now

The present

My mind is always worrying days, weeks in advance.

Tripping over negative thoughts.

Falling over my anxiety

I’m forgetting about this moment, about living this time.

Living for the moment, have I ever allowed myself the gift of this.

Have I ever been allowed this?

Always the organiser, always the planner.

Always the grown up, always the responsible one.

I want to view the world with a child like innocence.

To go with the flow

To leave tomorrow to itself

To leave next week, next month to its own devices.

To trust

To stand in faith.

My One Word for 2013

Posted on January 16, 2013 by admin

Again it’s time for me to think about one word I wish to be my focus for 2013.

Last year was easy I knew I had to step out in faith and trust.

In reflection I do wonder if I have achieved it, did I let people get close to me? Maybe not to the extend I hoped but I have made friendships that I treasure.

But for 2013 what is it that I want for myself, what word will define all my expectations and desires.

I’ve stumbled over this word the last week or so, praying, contemplating and praying some more.

You see it came easy to me and when something comes easy I am naturally suspicious.

But after all my prayers and my quiet times I do think that it is supposed to be my word.

So without further deviation my word for 2013 is simply STRONG

OneWord2013_Strong

The end of 2012 has left me feeling weak both in body and spirit. I’m tired to my bones and the very edges of my soul.

I’m depending on my own strength at all times and not coping at all. What’s worse is that I know better, I can’t live this life on my own strength I need to live through the strength Jesus offers me.

But I’m a slow learner even now nearly four years of coming to faith I am still stumbling at the core values of my belief.

My head knows but somehow my heart keeps screwing up the message.

One of my favorite scriptures is

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”Philippians 4.13

Yet why don’t I turn to him?

Why don’t i trust in him?

So for 2013 my word is strong.

I need be strong in faith.

I want to live my faith in all that I do. My faith is more than just speaking its doing.

Strong in my identity

I need to learn to accept that it’s ok to be me with all my weird and wonderful eccentric bits.

Strong in my fight against the evil anxiety that has raised it’s wicked head again over the last few months.

Strong is accepting that I can not be everything to others and that allowing myself to be hurt doesn’t help myself or my family. Learning not to allow others to abuse my trust anymore.

Strong in accepting my health issues and working with them rather than against them.

Strong in my self worth,

I’m the first to put myself down, my own worst enemy. I need to stop this.

Strong in my ambition

I have to believe in my dreams, to believe in what I am capable of.

Strong in pushing myself forward.

I need to be Strong

OneWord2013_Strong150

A big thank you to Melanie @ Only A Breath for my beautiful One word image xx

Merry Christmas

Posted on December 25, 2012 by admin

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
(Isaiah 9:6, NIV)

Holding out my hand

Posted on December 22, 2012 by admin

I have a question to ask you all,

Who do you remember most, the person who knocked you down or the one that helped you up?

Answer honestly

I ask myself this question a lot. So many things happen and I just get so angry at the amount of things that try to knock me down.

I find myself so caught up in the anger that many times I’m not aware of the ones holding out their hands to help me up. I’m focused on the ones that are hurting me and causing me stress.

Yet focussing on them lets them win. It’s a simple as that.

It’s not easy though is it?

When life is exhausting and it seems that the whole world is filled with evil.

But this isn’t the truth and the truth is where my focus should be.

Evil was defeated by the cross, yet the enemy is fantastic at creating illusions and its these illusions that we allow to draw us in, to believe, to accept.

Newspapers, television the Internet they are all about the sensationalising the evil.

But that isn’t all this world is about!

It’s a world of heroes.

Teachers protecting their pupils. Placing down their lives in sacrifice.

A world of men, woman fighting for the liberty of others.

A world full of parents fighting for the safety of their children.

A world of love and kindness

So let us fight back against this evil by not giving it the space in our minds and hearts that it desires.

Life may knock your down, people may try to hurt and abuse you but when you are fighting those battles look around you and see the people by your side.

The people holding out their hands.

That is where our focus should be.

Love will always overcome.

Walking With Angels

A journey through this chaos we call life.

Tag Archives: faith