Choosing not to write

Posted on July 24, 2012 by admin

Sometimes I choose not to write, not to throw my hat into the arena of comments and opinions. I virtually bite my tongue and stay quiet.

Not because I don’t have an opinion, I do, but I just don’t know enough.

I don’t know the real situation behind the headlines or gossip.

I don’t know the real people behind the photos or blog posts.

Being behind the computer gives us an opportunity to be.

A place where we can be ourselves and let our voices be heard.

But I ask the question, are we who we say we are?

Sometimes I read stories and blog posts and wonder, did that really happen?

Is their life really that perfect?

So many times we create ideas and ideals that people cannot or shouldn’t try and live up to.

Then we feel disappointed when we meet them in real life or the truth is unearthed.

But whose fault is that, have we created our own opinion or have they created one which isn’t true to what we now see.

So when the news headlines fill my screens or the television is full of the latest reality television show, I simply switch off.

I will not form an opinion of another from another’s words, I want to meet, feel and listen to their heart.

Only then when I know the full story,

Will I choose to speak,

Choose to write.

I have the Blues

Posted on July 18, 2012 by admin

I think I have a bit of the post conference blues.

At the Brit mums weekend I was Sara and I loved it.

As much as I cherish being mom sometimes I lose my identity under the piles of dirty washing and endless tantrums.

My job also doesn’t really give me a place to be Sara as a foster carer parenting is my job, which yes I love but hey where am I?

Maybe it just a case of the blues, that will soon pass over, or maybe its the inner me shouting a little louder than normal.

While we all love our roles of mother, wife etc we still need to remember that we are ourselves too.

To indulge in our passions be in it books, nights out, nights in.

Whatever we desire, need.

I need to take this on board more.

I need to not wait for those once a year weekends to embrace the woman inside.

This doesn’t detract from the roles I play it enhances them.

A happy mom makes for happy children.

A contented wife has a contented husband

So I’m make a new resolution (no its not new year) I’m going to celebrate me a little more, indulge me a little more, embrace me a little more.

I’m going to step out of the roles that have been defining me and learn more about the woman within.

I’m sure she is still there somewhere?

Life itself is the most wonderful fairytale of all. Hans Christian Anderson

Believing in myself

Posted on June 21, 2012 by admin

Today one of my daughters told me off. I was moaning about how nervous I was for this weekends Brit mums live when she told me straight.

“mom if you don’t believe in yourself how do you expect others too.”

Bang, right in my face!

How true , here I am harping on about my nerves probably making you all think I’m some kind of sloppy wimp.

When the fact is that’s not true.

Ok I’m not an overly outgoing person but I can and do generally chat to anyone, anywhere.

I have spoken in public numerous times on different subjects and do actually really enjoy it.

I also liaise with professionals from all walks of life on a weekly if not daily basis.

I am the co-founder of a charity Livvy’s Smile which is growing fantastically and have hosted and organised numerous events.

I’m also a writer both here and in other places including the Compassion UK Blog and fostering publications.

I’m also a mom to four incredible girls and a foster mom to one young man.

And to top it all off I’m also in the Brilliance in Blogging Inspire category final with Brit Mums, how about that.

So come on girl pull yourself together.

One gigantic kick up the bum coming my way.

So from now on I’m stepping forward with a new attitude.

I’m going to start believing in myself more.

And in the words of Babe Ruth

Don’t let the fear of striking out hold you back. – Babe Ruth

I’m excited for Brit Mums Live

Posted on May 21, 2012 by admin

So on June 22nd, I’m packing my suitcase and heading off to London our fair capital city. It’s a weekend I’m so looking forward to. I’m heading to Brit Mums Live an amazing conference for bloggers.

Yet while I’m excited I’m rather nervous. I’m attending the event solo, not knowing anyone is going to be rather strange but hey ho nothing ventured nothing gained.

The conference is offering so much that I am going to find useful it is going to be hard to choose between the workshops I want to attend. I’m still trying to decide but with the choices thats on offer its not going to be an easy decision.

The workshops and speakers offer so much, i’m sure i’m going to learn loads.Maybe its time that I did start paying attention to stats and things, see how technical I sound ha ha. Seriously though it looks like its going to be a conference for those who want to know more and for those like me with their head in the sand.

I am excited to hopefully learn some savvy tips that will help me here and over at my alter ego Livvy’s Smile.

One thing that’s really added to my excitement of this event is making the final of the brilliance in blogging awards in the Inspire category, this has left me glowing inside since the announcement I can tell you that. I’m really looking forward to meeting the other finalists as I admire their writing tremendously.

So hotel is booked, train tickets too, now I need to attend to the most pressing issue of it all.

What in the world shall I wear?

I’ m thinking smart casual is the way to go, not business like but not hanging around the house casual. I’ve been through my wardrobe twice and can’t find anything suitable so it looks like a shopping trip is in my future. Clothes can make a big difference to your confidence and I’m so going to need that extra boost. These are the excuses I’m trying on my husband anyway.

So as the countdown to the event begins, are you all ready?

Have you got your wardrobe planned?

Are you going solo?

Are you nervous like me?

So ignoring the nerves and lack of suitable wardrobe I am seriously looking forward to Brit Mums live. I’m sure I’m going to leave with some new blog know how and hopefully some new friends.

See you there!!!

*P.S If you are nervous, don’t worry, I’m sure someone mentioned wine.

I’m considering becoming a hermit

Posted on February 4, 2012 by admin

Ok maybe the title of this post is a little extreme but I am finding myself increasing enjoying my own company more than ever.

Having time to work through my thoughts.

Reading books and having the time to digest the meanings.

No small talk

Quiet time in conversation with God.

Journaling to my hearts content.

Ok ok being truthful I couldn’t become a hermit. I need my daily fix of cuddles and smooches.

But it is nice once in a while to have some time out.

Since Christmas I have taken a step back from social networking, my mobile phone, my laptop.

It didn’t start out as an intentional thing just an escape from feeling overwhelmed . I couldn’t keep up, my twitter feed was out of control. Tweets on events that I had completely missed out on. Situations with friends that had just bypassed me in the numerous irrelevance that I was following.

Facebook was the same how can one person have over 100 notifications in a day, I’m so not that popular, just group updates etc etc

My email box looked scary, I just began to avoid it.

So I took a step back. Decided that if it was important I would deal with it but if not I would let it go.

Refusing to check my accounts no more than 5 times a day rather than every 5 minutes.

Radical maybe ha ha but I survived and I’ve thrived.

I’ve read whole books in one sitting rather than a couple of chapters while checking twitter.

I held conversations with my children without checking my phone just in case.

I’ve watched DVDs snuggled on the sofa with my husband, no pausing or losing the plot just to return this email.

I’ve been present in my life. In the here and now with the person I’m standing with, not allowing half of my mind to be whirling around in cyberworld.

In the silence I have began a journey of reminding myself of who I am and who I wish to be.

I’m not really ever going to become a hermit but I have and will be continuing with the changes I have made.

Being present in your loved ones life’s is so much more important that being present in the virtual world.

Lesson learned.

“Life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch it going.” — Tennessee Williams

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” — Henry David Thoreau

Trusting my own judgement

Posted on July 21, 2011 by admin

I love social networking. It’s brought out a side of me I didn’t know I had. Or if the truth be known I had lost under the weight of life.

I love the way I get to chat to random people. Who without the network sites I would have never come across. Separated by distance, culture and life.

My mom used to say you could leave me in a room of strangers and in half an hour I would have learned their life stories.

I love learning about others, meeting new people.

Yet the last few weeks the joy has been slipping away. I have found myself being caught up in judgements, arguments, dislikes etc etc.

I feel like I’m back at school hearing people saying “don’t talk to her”or “he’s not nice or “guess what they did “.

I hate it with a vengeance.

Life is so diverse that we are going to come across people who we don’t agree with. Who we won’t like and you know what that’s ok. But everybody deserved respect. To openly criticise someone’s way of life actually says more about you as a person than it does about them.

My grandad once told me that the best thing I could ever do is “remember there are always two sides to a story”. He also said that maybe both sides won’t actually concern me.

You know what he is right.

I believe social networking is creating paranoia in the world. People are sure that certain tweets, status updates are about them. I know I have felt this way to. Maybe they are but they is always a good chance they are not. The reality is does it actually matter.

If people like you they will seek out your friendship, if people don’t like you then fair enough they won’t. The truth is it’s not the end of the world.

I’m taking a step back and putting my social networking into perspective.

I love it and always will. But I am
not going to listen to the others opinions on others I’m going to trust my own judgement. Maybe I will lose friends, followers but at least I know I have shown the respect I wish for myself.

My hope is that in doing this I will find my joy again.