Sharing my secret

So over the last few months I have been struggling to write the truth.

Scared to lay my heart out publicly for the world to see.

Scared is an understatement I think petrified comes closer.

Ive attempted to try,

Writing about being vulnerable, stepping out, being brave but all really hidden in the illusion of no substance.

I just could not find the words, fearful that having my dream in written form would somehow not make it happen.

Jinxing it, sabotage it, all irrational fears but fears all the same.

Sharing my story with only those I knew would hold my heart.

Today is my truth day, 

My day of honesty.

I have a secret to share, a dream I’ve held so close.

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We have been going through the process to become adoptive parents,

and………….

We have been approved!

Did you get that ?

We have been approved for adoption. 

I am so excited,

I am so happy.

Over the last months we have walked this journey, each step walking in vulnerability.

Praying, dreaming, hoping beyond hope.

I have been sick with nerves, nauerous with fear but ….

We have been approved. 

Can I write that again?

Approved.

I cannot tell you how we feel right now,

up on cloud nine, on the top of the world, over the moon,

All these statements do not come close.

We are………

Elated

Excited

Ecstatic

Happy

 

We still have a journey in front of us,

Things to do, paperwork to fill

But one day soon.

There will be another in our family. 

Another, already in my heart. 

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